Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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