and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
