she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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