I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
