piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's shark week go big or go home
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
