I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
