I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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