i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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