Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
