my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize