i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
