Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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