I will die if light touches me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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