Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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