Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
