I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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