nut hugger
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize