Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
