Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Pappa wants mamma naked
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
