if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize