Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
