your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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