you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
should my penis look like a turkey
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
