You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize