look no pants
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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