Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
