screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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