On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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