Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize