If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The feeling are messing with the penis
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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