just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And then the night went full on bisexual.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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