You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
