Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I love how my cats smell like pot.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
