i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
