yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
