if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
