Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
