That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
