Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
