...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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