Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
