I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize