dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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