he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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