So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
