Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
