my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
