obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
