Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Someone shit on the floor
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
