no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
