The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
