Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You ruined the universe
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
