Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
