Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
