My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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