you're like a bully in the Christmas story
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
