Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize