so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
