I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize