i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
