question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize