i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
did you just send me my own nude
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
