guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
