there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize