think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We left an ass print on the piano.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
