I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize