is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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