like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
