Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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