hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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