so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
