This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
