i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Come see our sink grown plant.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
