Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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