he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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